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August 26, 2003
zen
One of my very good girlfriends stopped by tonight and we hung out and drank wine and ate chinese food and chatted about life and our men and our horrible old friends that we aren't friends with anymore and all that stuff that girls talk about. The topic of zen came up in a funny way and I am always amazed when I run across some synchronicity in relation to what I do. I found a very zen-like quote in a newsletter from Sonia Choquette, a woman who has written some really incredible books that are very inspiring for the soul. Sure, it is new-agey but she is one the few that I have found that I have connected with...that I believe and whose message really resonates with me.
Her newsletter mentioned: "This all served to remind me that even if I am resting the Universe isn’t. My teacher, Dr. Tully, was the first to teach me this when he said in one particular class that sometimes the most powerful thing a person can do is nothing. By this he meant that we do not drive the Universe even though our minds would have us believe we do. By doing nothing, when it is time to step back and take a break, we surrender ourselves into the loving hands of God and the Universe which takes up where we leave off and works on our behalf. I know this intellectually. I even know this in my heart. But believe me, even teachers and writers like me are human, and stand to be reminded that God is in the driver’s seat not us."
I read this and realized the full impact. I've really had to just let go at work, to unlatch my sense of who I am from the work I do--to stop being wounded by the change and saddened by what I have done in the past as it is eradicated and the new regime takes hold. To stop feeling so angry. To just BE in the situation and to just let the greater force take hold (whomever your god or higher spirit is) and trust that all will work to your advantage. When you do, it will...and that's what I am trying hard to do. Still stumbling but feeling better.
In the same newsletter (you need to subscribe and I personally think it's worth it), she talks about chakras and what happens when things are out of whack: "If you are feeling unhappy, pushed around, or abused by others in your life, then clearly your third chakra is out of balance. As hard as it may be to believe, your unhappiness and oppression are not so much the product of your circumstances, and out of your control, but is rather something you are choosing to feel."
And this is true...very true. I'm working hard to refocus my energies toward the positive things. I had such a wonderful time tonight enjoying the company of my friend. I have an incredible husband who I can't wait to come home from his baseball game. I have parents who are going to be visiting soon...and in-laws who love me as their own. I have great friends, my writing is waiting for me anxiously (and so are some of Greg's poems!!), and school is about to begin. My life is full and happy and good and work is simply that right now--work--not a career. And so it isn't fulfilling anymore and that's ok. I can sit back and watch it unfold and in the course of it, I will be unfolding too.
Posted by crystallyn at August 26, 2003 10:23 PM
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Crystallyn takes a deep breath: I have an incredible husband who I can't wait to come home from his baseball [Read More]
Tracked on August 27, 2003 10:08 PM